ok. i would rather HAVE A PERPETUAL WEDGIE. A WEDGIE AS A PET.
supes simple explanation, dogz: im mega social anxiety, so i would rather suffer through a wedgie forever (and have no one notice) instead of being the laughing stock of the entire world for having my fly down. get it? ok!
i told myself i wouldnt make the next 'what would you rather' (imagine i linked to this blog right there instead of just bolding it like a dink?) something gross or negative or or or...but all i can think of is this:
would you rather wake up by (through?) a cat meowing really loud and piercingly in your ear OR a spider crawling over your face? AND TICKLING IT!? best phrasing of everything ever!
sorry.
hi kari! do this.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
you're the cat's piss... cats don't wear pyjamas.
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
This isn't news, but I am a procrastinator... EVEN IN THE BLOGGING DEPARTMENT!! Apologies are flowing out of my heart, among other places ("orifices", specifically).
Cat's piss or an alcoholic's breath... for perfume?? Personally, I'd love to combine the two, but I think that might be a little too "risque" for this blog... I'm all about controversy, but boy, that's just pushing it. (Interpretation: I'm too lazy to try to explain myself). Honestly, I'd say I'd wear alcohol breath as perfume. It isn't a very specific scent, since I'm sure some boozers' breath is a lot worse than others. I hate smelling people's breath more than anything, but urine is a little much, although I guess since it's a cat it's not as bad as a human's... but still gross. Nothing is worse than piss smell. And if you wore ACTUAL piss as a perfume (not just a recreated version of the scent) it would be the SUPER WORST because piss just smells worse as it gets older. I would know... I pee myself all the time, and often I don't change until the next week!!! I'm actually joking about that, although I'm sure you disagree.
Both suck. But I pick the booze breath. THAT'S IT. I SAID IT.
(yeah, smelling bad breath on public transportation is THEE worst... for the record...)....
WWYR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????
......
HAVE A CONTINUOUS WEDGIE (thongs don't count, they're fucking stupid)???
OR
HAVE YOUR FLY DOWN ALLLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME???? (no, you can't just wear un-fly pants because that's just how it is!!!! OK? Your pants have to be FLY!)
This isn't news, but I am a procrastinator... EVEN IN THE BLOGGING DEPARTMENT!! Apologies are flowing out of my heart, among other places ("orifices", specifically).
Cat's piss or an alcoholic's breath... for perfume?? Personally, I'd love to combine the two, but I think that might be a little too "risque" for this blog... I'm all about controversy, but boy, that's just pushing it. (Interpretation: I'm too lazy to try to explain myself). Honestly, I'd say I'd wear alcohol breath as perfume. It isn't a very specific scent, since I'm sure some boozers' breath is a lot worse than others. I hate smelling people's breath more than anything, but urine is a little much, although I guess since it's a cat it's not as bad as a human's... but still gross. Nothing is worse than piss smell. And if you wore ACTUAL piss as a perfume (not just a recreated version of the scent) it would be the SUPER WORST because piss just smells worse as it gets older. I would know... I pee myself all the time, and often I don't change until the next week!!! I'm actually joking about that, although I'm sure you disagree.
Both suck. But I pick the booze breath. THAT'S IT. I SAID IT.
(yeah, smelling bad breath on public transportation is THEE worst... for the record...)....
WWYR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????
......
HAVE A CONTINUOUS WEDGIE (thongs don't count, they're fucking stupid)???
OR
HAVE YOUR FLY DOWN ALLLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME???? (no, you can't just wear un-fly pants because that's just how it is!!!! OK? Your pants have to be FLY!)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
seymour vs. nunchucks.
really good one, kari!
as soon as i read it, ideas just started pouring out! like woah this question evoked so many emotions! i actually immediately made a point-form list, which i will now consult, to explain my decision:
I CHOOSE SEYMOUR, DUH. a few reasons (from the list):
* there is a good chance he gets free fried chicken. if you were bff's you'd probs get some too.
* he has a sweet record collection which he houses in a totally bizarre room and it would be fun to sit in that room and touch all his things (NO NOT LIKE THAT), while listening to someone named jelly roll morton or something like that. (and probably eating fried chicken...do you see how great of a best friend he would be?).
* ok another one...there would hardly never be a risk of getting injured with nunchucks. on the other hand, maybe having a weapon is good for protection. he could probably just protect you with his charm and good looks though.
maybe that's all for now. i am tired. seymour rules so hard. oh he also drinks wine. which i am pro at!
ok.
WWYR?!
wear as a 'perfume'...male, un-neutered cat pee
OR
an alcoholic's breath? (that one inspired by a bus ride yesterday!).
fyi...dont worry about what other ppl might be able to stand more...you can stay inside all day if you want! it's more what you could put up with better.
hopefully next time i can think of something not-gross. bye!
as soon as i read it, ideas just started pouring out! like woah this question evoked so many emotions! i actually immediately made a point-form list, which i will now consult, to explain my decision:
I CHOOSE SEYMOUR, DUH. a few reasons (from the list):
* there is a good chance he gets free fried chicken. if you were bff's you'd probs get some too.
* he has a sweet record collection which he houses in a totally bizarre room and it would be fun to sit in that room and touch all his things (NO NOT LIKE THAT), while listening to someone named jelly roll morton or something like that. (and probably eating fried chicken...do you see how great of a best friend he would be?).
* ok another one...there would hardly never be a risk of getting injured with nunchucks. on the other hand, maybe having a weapon is good for protection. he could probably just protect you with his charm and good looks though.
maybe that's all for now. i am tired. seymour rules so hard. oh he also drinks wine. which i am pro at!
ok.
WWYR?!
wear as a 'perfume'...male, un-neutered cat pee
OR
an alcoholic's breath? (that one inspired by a bus ride yesterday!).
fyi...dont worry about what other ppl might be able to stand more...you can stay inside all day if you want! it's more what you could put up with better.
hopefully next time i can think of something not-gross. bye!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
uninspired but still a good question minus poop and other bodily secretions
Erin... I know you enjoy Ghost World as much as I do (hopefully I made that up so I sound really cool), so I have to pose this crucial, to-die-for question:
Who would you rather be best friends with...
Seymour from Ghost World (played by none other than STEVE BUSCEMI!!!!) or... that other guy who plays with nunchucks and eats meat sticks??? Yes, nunchucks guy is a minor role compared to Seymour, but he is equally important, to be quite honest.
WHOOOOA WHAT A TOSS-UP!!!
Who would you rather be best friends with...
Seymour from Ghost World (played by none other than STEVE BUSCEMI!!!!) or... that other guy who plays with nunchucks and eats meat sticks??? Yes, nunchucks guy is a minor role compared to Seymour, but he is equally important, to be quite honest.
WHOOOOA WHAT A TOSS-UP!!!
Monday, April 7, 2008
this WWYR made me really hungry...
I've been racking my brain over this one for the past few days... both are extremely gross, and both would make me want to die or barf which is pretty much the same thing, in my humble opinion. But then I started thinking... HEY, why not ADD these marvelous bodily ingredients to ACTUAL edible food items?? For instance, you could easily dilute the blister liquid if you drained it properly... you could put it into a cocktail! You never know, it could get you even MORE fucked up!!!! As for the scab, you could crunch it up real nice and fine and sprinkle it over a dinner much like Mrs. Dash, y'know what I'm sayin'??? Now that I've taken in these choices with a grain of salt (LITERALLY), I would choose... well... honestly... without all the fancy recipes that include nasty body liquids or crusts, I'd go with the scab... wait... maybe not... two centimetres is fucking huge for a scab. Maybe the liquid then... I'd get super duper drunk before "drinking" the liquid (although it can't be THAT much... unless the blister was the size of my head...) and then I'd drink it and blame it on my intoxication. Yeah. Good answer, Kari.
My WWYR is still under construction... I haven't gone that far. Ugh, I suck, I know. If you come up with a question, I encourage you to ask it. Is that against the rules? I don't plan on taking forever, but you know, just to keep this blog alive for all of our huge fans...
My WWYR is still under construction... I haven't gone that far. Ugh, I suck, I know. If you come up with a question, I encourage you to ask it. Is that against the rules? I don't plan on taking forever, but you know, just to keep this blog alive for all of our huge fans...
Friday, April 4, 2008
stained underpants! stained underpants!
ferreal.
feral?
i would much prefer some old nast crust on me then gooey slimey fresh...with the crusty i feel like i could just step out of that kiddy pool, brush myself off, and continue with my day. probs wouldnt even smell too bad! would barely need a shower! hopefully none of those undies had std's in them. or used needles for that matter. you know older people...who are not babies...they be using the needlz!
im not drunk, really.
ok a question...
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER?
eat your own scab (let's say 2cmx2cm in size!...hardened, dried, not pussing) OR drink the liquid from a popped blister on your foot?
**i opened a new window to google image search 'scab' but then i realized we have to draw the line somewhere. plus, kari, you didnt include pictures of crusty/runny poo in a kiddy pool, so im following by your tasteful example.
feral?
i would much prefer some old nast crust on me then gooey slimey fresh...with the crusty i feel like i could just step out of that kiddy pool, brush myself off, and continue with my day. probs wouldnt even smell too bad! would barely need a shower! hopefully none of those undies had std's in them. or used needles for that matter. you know older people...who are not babies...they be using the needlz!
im not drunk, really.
ok a question...
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER?
eat your own scab (let's say 2cmx2cm in size!...hardened, dried, not pussing) OR drink the liquid from a popped blister on your foot?
**i opened a new window to google image search 'scab' but then i realized we have to draw the line somewhere. plus, kari, you didnt include pictures of crusty/runny poo in a kiddy pool, so im following by your tasteful example.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
remember spandau ballet??? "I KNOOOOOOW THIS MUCH IS TRUUUUUUUE"....
Erin, you have presented me with a difficult decision, as drunkenness is the key ingredient to solving life's problems such as this one. However, when I really sit down and think about it (mainly on the toilet), I have come up with an answer... and I know you must be thrilled at this discovery.
Although a five minute recital all by my lonesome sounds rather endearing, it wouldn't be the same without my dear friend called booze. So that one is out of the question. Obviously, I am left with no other option. I would sit on my ass and watch a boring fucking stupid recital for four stinkin' hours. To make this bearable, I have come up with a brilliant plan. Since it is four hours long, that is a damn good time to catch up on my sleeping. The night before, I would totally pull a crazy all-nighter and then I would go to the ballet totally fucking delirious and then I would snooze through the whole thing. I'm not one to fall asleep in public places, but I'm pretty sure if I was up for more than 24 hours, it would be a perfectly reasonable assumption that I would conk out. And there you have it!
I am going back to our gross ways, so be prepared for this WWYR!!!
Erin, would you rather sit in a kiddy pool of old, crusty, stained underpants (both women's and men's... think about it) or sit in a kiddy pool full of fresh diapers (and by fresh, I mean freshly pooped and peed in)??? I was going to use a gigantic swimming pool instead of a kiddy pool, so be thankful that your head is above the crotchiness and doodoo.
Although a five minute recital all by my lonesome sounds rather endearing, it wouldn't be the same without my dear friend called booze. So that one is out of the question. Obviously, I am left with no other option. I would sit on my ass and watch a boring fucking stupid recital for four stinkin' hours. To make this bearable, I have come up with a brilliant plan. Since it is four hours long, that is a damn good time to catch up on my sleeping. The night before, I would totally pull a crazy all-nighter and then I would go to the ballet totally fucking delirious and then I would snooze through the whole thing. I'm not one to fall asleep in public places, but I'm pretty sure if I was up for more than 24 hours, it would be a perfectly reasonable assumption that I would conk out. And there you have it!
I am going back to our gross ways, so be prepared for this WWYR!!!
Erin, would you rather sit in a kiddy pool of old, crusty, stained underpants (both women's and men's... think about it) or sit in a kiddy pool full of fresh diapers (and by fresh, I mean freshly pooped and peed in)??? I was going to use a gigantic swimming pool instead of a kiddy pool, so be thankful that your head is above the crotchiness and doodoo.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)