Thursday, May 15, 2008

AT MOUNT ZOOMER!!!

ok. i would rather HAVE A PERPETUAL WEDGIE. A WEDGIE AS A PET.
supes simple explanation, dogz: im mega social anxiety, so i would rather suffer through a wedgie forever (and have no one notice) instead of being the laughing stock of the entire world for having my fly down. get it? ok!

i told myself i wouldnt make the next 'what would you rather' (imagine i linked to this blog right there instead of just bolding it like a dink?) something gross or negative or or or...but all i can think of is this:

would you rather wake up by (through?) a cat meowing really loud and piercingly in your ear OR a spider crawling over your face? AND TICKLING IT!? best phrasing of everything ever!

sorry.

hi kari! do this.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

you're the cat's piss... cats don't wear pyjamas.

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

This isn't news, but I am a procrastinator... EVEN IN THE BLOGGING DEPARTMENT!! Apologies are flowing out of my heart, among other places ("orifices", specifically).

Cat's piss or an alcoholic's breath... for perfume?? Personally, I'd love to combine the two, but I think that might be a little too "risque" for this blog... I'm all about controversy, but boy, that's just pushing it. (Interpretation: I'm too lazy to try to explain myself). Honestly, I'd say I'd wear alcohol breath as perfume. It isn't a very specific scent, since I'm sure some boozers' breath is a lot worse than others. I hate smelling people's breath more than anything, but urine is a little much, although I guess since it's a cat it's not as bad as a human's... but still gross. Nothing is worse than piss smell. And if you wore ACTUAL piss as a perfume (not just a recreated version of the scent) it would be the SUPER WORST because piss just smells worse as it gets older. I would know... I pee myself all the time, and often I don't change until the next week!!! I'm actually joking about that, although I'm sure you disagree.
Both suck. But I pick the booze breath. THAT'S IT. I SAID IT.
(yeah, smelling bad breath on public transportation is THEE worst... for the record...)....



WWYR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????
......
HAVE A CONTINUOUS WEDGIE (thongs don't count, they're fucking stupid)???
OR
HAVE YOUR FLY DOWN ALLLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME???? (no, you can't just wear un-fly pants because that's just how it is!!!! OK? Your pants have to be FLY!)