Erin, you have presented me with a difficult decision, as drunkenness is the key ingredient to solving life's problems such as this one. However, when I really sit down and think about it (mainly on the toilet), I have come up with an answer... and I know you must be thrilled at this discovery.
Although a five minute recital all by my lonesome sounds rather endearing, it wouldn't be the same without my dear friend called booze. So that one is out of the question. Obviously, I am left with no other option. I would sit on my ass and watch a boring fucking stupid recital for four stinkin' hours. To make this bearable, I have come up with a brilliant plan. Since it is four hours long, that is a damn good time to catch up on my sleeping. The night before, I would totally pull a crazy all-nighter and then I would go to the ballet totally fucking delirious and then I would snooze through the whole thing. I'm not one to fall asleep in public places, but I'm pretty sure if I was up for more than 24 hours, it would be a perfectly reasonable assumption that I would conk out. And there you have it!
I am going back to our gross ways, so be prepared for this WWYR!!!
Erin, would you rather sit in a kiddy pool of old, crusty, stained underpants (both women's and men's... think about it) or sit in a kiddy pool full of fresh diapers (and by fresh, I mean freshly pooped and peed in)??? I was going to use a gigantic swimming pool instead of a kiddy pool, so be thankful that your head is above the crotchiness and doodoo.
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2 comments:
i pretty much want to barf all over my computer whenever i read this blog.
unda pants
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